You are Solar Jetman. Your mission, if you so choose to accept it, is to retrieve the 12 missing pieces of the infamous "Golden Warship." These pieces are scattered over 12 different alien worlds filled with aggressive creatures and strip clubs...err, I mean booby traps. Can a goofy-looking Solar Jetman do it on his own? Furthermore, can a goofy-looking NES player and a goofy-looking Solar Jetman do it? For your sake, you better hope so.

One of the pretty neat things about this game is that while flying your ship, you have to account for gravity. You also don't have an infinite amount of fuel, so make sure you keep an eye on that and refill at the base when you need to. These realistic aspects certainly add some character to the game and in turn make it more enjoyable to play; well I suppose a bitch at the same time too. So maybe the infinite amount of bullets isn't so realistic, but reality sucks anyway. There are also different weapons you can pick up in the alien territory and little additions to your ship. If your ship explodes, your Jetman is ok for the time being. If you can safely get him back to the base, you can get him in a brand new ship. Just be careful, because he is quite a pansy. There is also a password system in this game which appear at the start of each level and at the game over screen. At least they don't expect you to be a god damn James Bond through the whole game and give you one shot like lots of NES games.

Ok, now this pissed me off. A friend of mine and I were playing this game for nearly two days. He was on the last level, and actually completed making the Golden Warship. So we're in our big Golden Warship of ass-whooping(or so we thought) flying in a side-scrolling sequence at what appeared to be the end of the game. Meteors start flying at our precious ship, so we begin dodging...and dodging. Finally we reach this tentacle looking guy that starts shooting shit at us. The Golden Warship, the Omnipotent Spacecraft of Alien Demolition was swiftly blown to bits. The screen went black. 'No, don't even do it' we thought silently to ourselves, still shocked by the fact that such a magnificent Spaceship was brought to its knees so effortlessly. And there it was. Dancing on the screen with the joy of an evil and unfair victory. Boistrously prevailing its pure hatred for our efforts in a giddy fashion...GaMe OvEr! Sons of bitches. It took an hour alone to complete that level, not to mention the fact that if we wanted to try the Golden Warship part again, we would have to do that whole last level over. We were both stunned as we watched the letters dance all over our efforts. What a game, I'll see it in hell.



Maybe if the ending wasn't so fucking GAY, I would have given this game 5 stars. It definitely was a whole lot of fun getting to the end, but god damnit!!!

I give this game